Listen to me dear readers
and just think
of my woes
when you take one look
at my face
and curl your toes.
Who said that babies
had to be handsome
or always cute?
So if you test
my theory
there is no dispute.
They said that my mum
reconsidered
on her fateful day
to push me back in
and hide me
out of the way.
It was not good for my morale
to take
such a hit.
Unfortunately
I survived
with my self-deprecating wit.
She soon gave me sunglasses,
a fake nose
and a beard
but as you can imagine
on a baby
it's just weird.
My mother soldiers on
and takes me out
in a tank.
It's a baby carriage
covered in metal
along with a dubious rank.
So I may be the world's
ugliest baby
but when push comes to shove
there is nothing quite like
a mother's unconditional
love!
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