They accuse me of heresy
and that's more shit
than I can take
while my toes are burning quickly
at the bottom
of this stake.
I'm calling my agent
more in disgust
than in fear
to get on with my book tour
and make this nightmare
disappear.
The church can't accept
that I dress
like a man
and yet lead an army
into battle
in the way that I can.
I still have time for a selfie
with one last
mortal thought
Joan of Arc may be in flames
but I'm still looking
hot.
So go screw Vogue magazine
for leaving me off
their cover shoot.
All they wanted was ample cleavage
and my codpiece
was in dispute.
My chin hair
is now getting toasted
and out of one eye I can see
there's a cellphone in the front row
capturing
video history.
My name is Joan of Arc
and Leonard Cohen
sang of me.
Please sit on my middle finger
and end
my misery.
Next week on The world's most notorious selfies: Custer's last stand
*****************************************************************************
and that's more shit
than I can take
while my toes are burning quickly
at the bottom
of this stake.
I'm calling my agent
more in disgust
than in fear
to get on with my book tour
and make this nightmare
disappear.
The church can't accept
that I dress
like a man
and yet lead an army
into battle
in the way that I can.
I still have time for a selfie
with one last
mortal thought
Joan of Arc may be in flames
but I'm still looking
hot.
So go screw Vogue magazine
for leaving me off
their cover shoot.
All they wanted was ample cleavage
and my codpiece
was in dispute.
My chin hair
is now getting toasted
and out of one eye I can see
there's a cellphone in the front row
capturing
video history.
My name is Joan of Arc
and Leonard Cohen
sang of me.
Please sit on my middle finger
and end
my misery.
Next week on The world's most notorious selfies: Custer's last stand
*****************************************************************************