I buried the groom
and consummated
with the bride.
Two people
missed their honeymoon
when they both died.
My wife yelled
"Where the hell were you?
Your dinner got burned."
Of course with one eye gone
she should have just
learned
to leave me
alone
when I'm in this mood
and for crying out loud
now get me
my food.
I've got places to go
and things
to do
with an itinerary
of surprises
for people like you.
She doesn't question
my silence much
anymore
although putting up
with her
has become a chore.
When I make room
in the freezer
she'll find a new place
to reside
in storage
as a cold case.
I need to get my shit
together
and start a new week.
From Monday to Friday
I'm the one
that many clients seek.
I am a professional
in a suit
with a license too
as a marriage counsellor
to see your tough times
through.
So please take my advice
and try to live
in peace
or the conflict
in your marriage
will never cease.
My home is now empty
without one single
clue
and yet I can see the evil
that marriage
made me do.
*************************************
and consummated
with the bride.
Two people
missed their honeymoon
when they both died.
My wife yelled
"Where the hell were you?
Your dinner got burned."
Of course with one eye gone
she should have just
learned
to leave me
alone
when I'm in this mood
and for crying out loud
now get me
my food.
I've got places to go
and things
to do
with an itinerary
of surprises
for people like you.
She doesn't question
my silence much
anymore
although putting up
with her
has become a chore.
When I make room
in the freezer
she'll find a new place
to reside
in storage
as a cold case.
I need to get my shit
together
and start a new week.
From Monday to Friday
I'm the one
that many clients seek.
I am a professional
in a suit
with a license too
as a marriage counsellor
to see your tough times
through.
So please take my advice
and try to live
in peace
or the conflict
in your marriage
will never cease.
My home is now empty
without one single
clue
and yet I can see the evil
that marriage
made me do.
*************************************