is doing here in the first place?
Then you must understand my motives and my personal agenda.
This has been the fourth time this week that I sit here on my favorite park bench
and watch intently.
Yes, I am watching that grown man over there with his little boy.
You see, love brought me back here today for a number of reasons.
First and foremost because the guilt I have of leaving my son behind at birth.
These are personal reasons in which I cannot share with you at the moment
but please understand that I have tremendous guilt over all of this.
I am happy married right now although the man I love is unable to have children with me.
Of this I have no regrets for he is the most wonderful man that I have ever met and we both pursue our own careers.
Over there is the only son that I will ever know and it will always be from a distance.
I dare not go any closer to upset both him and my grandson. He probably hates me for what I have done.
I am too afraid to see the rejection in his face. I am too afraid to say that I am sorry although that is what I want to say to my son most of all.
This is my last day here as I have to move on and leave this former life behind once and for all.
I am satisfied now. Satisfied to see that my son has a family of his own and his boy has a loving mother too.
I am not a stalker with a morbid self-attention to my own shortcomings and failures in life.
I am just a mother who is too ashamed to talk about my past more than I already have.
You see, love brought me back here today and it's a deep feeling that shall never go away.
As for my husband he thinks that I like spending my lunch hours away from work
out here in the park.
The truth be told ,as you all know by now ,
this is my favorite bench and over there
in those two smiling and laughing silhouettes
are the successes and failures
of how love brought me back here today.
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